he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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