At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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