ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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