girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
