Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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