im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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