what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
