Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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