I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
