those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
