I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
