Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize