omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
