areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
