They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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