Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
