I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
