He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
