hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
