is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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