The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
