vagina is talking i cant
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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