Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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