I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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