I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
