Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
