38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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