I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
