Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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