How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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