You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
