Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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