She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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