OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
