I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
