why didn't you poke me back
That's intense
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
