Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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