I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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