butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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