You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
