YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
