Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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