It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
