Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
