At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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