He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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