this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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