Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize