well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
