Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
