OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
