i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
