also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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