Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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