Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
