How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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