i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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