i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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