You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
