Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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