Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My pussy is not your playground.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize