I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
