WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize