Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
