Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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