let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
