is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so let's talk penis.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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