I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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