this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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