you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
third nipple confirmed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
