someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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