I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
