Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
