I want to stick my p in your. b.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
