sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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