is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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