just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
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