Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
