how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The power of my boobs compel you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
