We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
